Columnist to other females: Leggings are not pants
My original plan for this column was to honor my favorite ’80s films in light of Molly Ringwald turning 40 last week. However, due to recent events, I have decided to alter my focus in the form of a letter.
We will return to our regularly scheduled entertainment topics next week.
Dear female students of Ohio Wesleyan University,
Leggings do not qualify as pants. Ever.
Honestly, I have no desire to walk up the stairs of University Hall behind a girl who is not wearing pants. Unfortunately, that is exactly what happened last Friday, which accounts for the existence of this column.
Merely because leggings are the same shape as pants does not make them a qualified substitute.
You should never wear leggings f you do not plan on wearing a skirt over them. If you choose not to wear a skirt, I would hope your shirt is long enough to cover your butt. If it is not, the rest of OWU’s population (at least the women and probably every member of the faculty and staff) would prefer that you covered up. I have no idea why this trend would be thought of as fashionable, but apparently it is.
I know this might be difficult to understand, but do not worry because I have created a simple test to figure out if pants are needed to complete an outfit.
Step 1: Look in the mirror and ask yourself this question: “Can I see my butt?”
If the answer to this question is yes, please proceed to the second step.
Step 2: Put on pants, a skirt, shorts, etc.
As an addition to my complaints bout leggings, I have one more thing to say: wearing Uggs (or any form of boot that looks as if it could handle the snow) with leggings (with or without a skirt) is not attractive and makes me ashamed to be a woman of our generation.
Aside from the fact that I have no desire to see my fellow students’ butts, it snowed last week. Why in the world would you think it was sane to walk out of your dorm room or apartments without proper winter attire?
As a true Ohioan I will often shed my winter coat for sweatshirts once the thermostat reads a balmy 45 degrees. I understand that this is not entirely appropriate but, hey, at least I am still wearing pants.
Yours truly,
Kaitlin Thomas
P.S. If you absolutely cannot stand wearing pants, I hear there are nudist colonies in Europe. I would be happy to Google them for you.
I could also help you find the names and addresses of businesses in the adult entertainment field around Columbus. Apparently not wearing pants is a requirement for the job. And you get paid for not wearing those pants.
So it’s a win/win/win situation f you ask me. I do not have to look at your butt, so I win. You will still be able to not wear those pesky pants, so you win. And you will be making money. So again, a win.
From: Volume 146, Issue 17: February 28, 2008
